they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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