dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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