We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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