grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
