Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
