Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
