Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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