Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
