i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
