There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
