He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
