i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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