I need help removing her.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
