I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
