even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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