I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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