Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
