she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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