also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
