he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
