Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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