thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You have to summon your inner elephant
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
