omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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