yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i now understand why vodka
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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