that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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