i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
that's an acceptable place to lick
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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