think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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