The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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