rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
