you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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