I seem to have left my pride at pride
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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