Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just found a bag of teeth...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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