I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
