Hey man sorry I got all grabby
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
