I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
