Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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