I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
