get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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