I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
