They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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