What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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