If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
