Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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