with your own penis?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
