I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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