I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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