Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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