We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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