I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
