And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
