Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
