Sorry, I don't speak sober.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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