So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
