i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
