maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
