oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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