Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
