Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think people are normalizing furries
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
