'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
